Where is my mind, indeed.

There is no reason for me to be feeling this way, really. I ended a very fruitful (and crazy amazing) 2011 happily and welcomed the new 2012 just as perfectly well… and with everything that is already planned, the first half of this year is already proving to be very exciting and well-spent.

So why am I still feeling this way?

I always used to be able to churn out sentences after sentences, albeit never really completing them. LOL. That's besides the point… Point is, I used to write very consistently, very often- like I'm always filled to the brim and will explode if I don't let all these crazy things out. Writers' block? I don't know but if it is, I want to overcome it. It feels so very horrible with all of these feelings and thoughts stuck inside of me; they will eventually eat me from inside and I will eventually breakdown again. Okay, not really an actual breakdown… Just a complete shutdown. Lol.

It's like… I've lost a certain edge, a certain drive to do things. I can hardly bring myself to even lift a finger to do something. And yes, even opening a brand new document to type this took me ages. I've lost something, most definitely, I just don't know what it is! And it frustrates me to no freaked ends!

I know I'm a dreamer, always floating around, but I've done that all my life and nothing of it feels like what I'm feeling right now. I don't know. Something is gone and I don't know what it is. Freak! I haven't touched Banana Chips as often as before, haven't written anything as often as before… I don't even feel like picking up a pen or flipping through my planner!

JUST WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!

It can't be that I haven't recovered enough from the tedious 4 months. I've had enough rest, had enough fun… I can't still not have recovered, right?

GRRRRR.

Whatever it is, I hope it goes away- or returns. I've been feeling like this since the start of the year and it sucksssssssssssss. :(