i find this true. very true, so true, too true.

how sad is this? that we all know each other when really, we don't at all.

i've always felt that people around me don't know me well enough.

i mean, yes, they do know that dongbang is part of my life (im known as the dongbang/kpop girl lol) and that my family will always come before anybody and anything else, that i love eating yogurt in my own messy, sloppy way and i am addicted to pepero. that i cant really take chilli (but i like it) and will endure any spiciness for kimchi, that i have a messed up back injury that took dance and i away from each other, that i learned the guitar by myself (actually, i think not many know that it was self-taught lol), that i love to read and write.

they probably don't know why these are the way they are, why i am the way i am. i haven't really noticed it until personality readings, horoscopes and detailed analysis of INFPs pointed it over and over again, but i really do observe people very often. more often than intended, lol. you know what they say about quiet people who stay in the background and observe… yeap, i think im somewhat like that. lol.

which is why i find myself understanding, most of the time, why people are the way they are. ice don't freeze and fit immediately into the mold; people don't become who they are overnight. if any at all, i always preferred to believe that people grow into who they were meant to be. and these, more often than not, are brought about by circumstances they have faced, situations they have found themselves in.

i know that they say while we do not have the power over things that happen, we have the power to decide how we will face them. i believe in this. but i also believe that not everybody starts off that strong in the beginning. we do get carried away by the circumstances, and we do allow ourselves to get washed away by the current. it happens and i have let it happened to me before, so while i cannot say that i know, i can say that i understand. it happens. so there is no need to beat yourself over it.

so, the thing is, i've never felt that people around me truly know me well enough. i can say the same for myself. i don't think i know about people around me well enough. at least not to that extent… the way i hope to be understood.

but here comes the irony! while i do hope for it, i do not want it. i believe we all deserve to have a little part of ourselves reserved only for ourselves; this is a kind of privacy that we all need, no? furthermore, there is only so much we can do to know others that well. sure, of course there are soul mates and i believe in our special other half, but even so, some things belong to ourselves and only ourselves. no matter how much or how little.

hmm.

yup. so don't go around thinking that you know everything about a person when really, you don't. you are only making assumptions, you are only judging. there are reasons why people are the way they are and nobody has any rights to judge anybody for that. yes, i believe in that. and yes, i am a hypocrite because i judge people who judge others. lol. at least i dare to admit it… in fact, i am a hypocrite in many ways. lol. and a huge ball of contradictions. lol.

yeap. i think im just gonna tidy up my schedule book a little because i've neglected it for waaaaay too long. lol.

cheers, and have a good day/night! :)



ps/ i just realized that i have at least 3500++ caption-photo thingys all saved from tumblr. lol. i have plans to develop some to be pasted all over my wardrobe, but to have to choose from over 3500 pictures? how is it even possible?! T_T