last week, i was at yoguru with morgan, nana and timtim. nana was working, of course, while the 3 of us walked around klp. there was a mini exhibition on depression and so we went to check it out. they shared 6 symptoms of depression, so we walked around, checking them off our lists.

i’ve never been depressed before- at least i wont use the word depressed- but i’ve been really, really sad before. it happened only once, that one time i couldnt get back up, and i checked off my list based on that one time.

and lol, i got 5 out of 6 symptoms. lmao! i cannot imagine what would have happen if ahben didnt scold me to my senses.. would i really have gone ahead and do something stupid? so, haha.. you are my savior, i am eternally grateful to you. (quote: the 3 aliens from toy story lol)

the thing is, if somebody mentions death, even if only jokingly, it could be a sign of something. dont ignore it; dont ignore that person’s cry for help. and ya lah, i did think that perhaps things would be a little better if i ended things.. LOL. i wanna shake that ellialyn hard and tell her that you mustnt kid with life. and heaven knows how much i treasure my life right now..

maybe there are times when smiling has become part of your masking your pain.

maybe there are time when smiling needs too much strength and effort.

maybe there are times when smiling serves no purpose at all.

i’ve been there; i understand how there are times when all you wanna do is to curl up in one corner and just keep crying. it is not wrong to want to do this, but it is wrong to forget that the sun will always come out after the rain. dont forget about the rainbows, too!

it is the most horrible mistake (at least it is to me) to think that you are gonna be all sad and depressed forever.

okay, maybe you need a reason to be happy and you believe that you have lost all reasons to be happy again. have you forgotten that you still have yourself? at the very least, be happy for yourself. after all, you are living for yourself, right…?

and you should ALWAYS be the last on the list of people who will pity you. never, ever pity yourself. never, ever wallow in self-pity!!

if trying to be happy is difficult, then isn’t being sad just as tiring?! in fact, it weighs you down. you become slow and you become heavy.. even clings onto you like grime, unable to be washed off. so you like being a slug, huh? i definitely didnt like it, not a single bit.

maybe that’s what crying is for.. to flush out everything. i cant condemn anybody for crying because i cry, too. but aiyah, the point is you have to smile again after crying! there is always hope.. a thin thread of hope existing out there (or inside of you) just for you.

so yeah, SMILE~

:D :D :D

ps/ im sorry to the people whom i’ve frowned at today. they dont know me, i dont know them.. but i start feeling bad when i see people frown and i’d hate for that to happen to anybody too. so yeah, im sorry! im usually always smiling~ :D