Count on Me.

dear jay, it’s you who should count on us. =)

i logged onto facebook, wanting to check out baking life but i saw this update on AOM’s facebook. seriously, when i clicked on the link (with trembling hands due to excitement and a pounding heart), i never expected such a reaction from myself. at the very most, i will squeal…? BUT OMG, I STARTED CRYING. :(

because those feelings flooded back.

when i left for b02’s class chalet still worrying about jay’s stuff.

when i came back from the chalet (still drunk and suffering from hangover; i promise that’s the forth and last time i will ever ever drink) only to know what has happened. i still remember how that nausea-tic feeling rushed back to me when i read the news and how the world literally starting spinning (because i was still hungover lah lol).

the freshest memory was when morgan and i were chiong-ing our ntu portfolio because i was ‘tuned in’ to the conference too..

all of these feelings rushed back.

i know i always said that i love dongbang (lol, it still feels awkward) and will always be loyal to only them.. my dongbang boys are still irreplaceable in my heart, mind and soul, and one thing for sure if they will be for as long as i want forever to last. <3

but jay’s different. the fact that dongbang’s no longer the only one in my life.. surely, it says something, right?

i really, really look up to dongbang. i really, really respect dongbang. i really, really admire dongbang. and it’s the same for jay too. he’s just one of the six people whom i feel really is worth my looking up to, my respect and my admiration. =)

ahhhh.

i wasnt a fan from the beginning but i was a fan ever since september. which is kind of unfortunate because the first few months of this fandom was filled with anxiety and worry, lol.

looking back and seeing how much jaywalkers and jay have gone through together.. ahh, everything still feels so surreal. that’s why i started crying, lol.

dear jay.. you’re gonna make it even bigger, arent you? just go ahead and reach for the stars.. we are all here with you. you can count on us! :D

HAHA okay iono what im talking about anymore. xD