Life has been sooooooo smooth-sailing and good the past few months, I don't even know what is going on. Lol. All I know is that I'm living well and my family and friends are also living well and that seeing them living happily, healthily and safely is making me very, very happy. I really, really have no idea what is going on besides all these... like literally. 

Of course, it is not a bad thing that life has been nothing but good. I've been living life close to the way I want to; everything is slowly falling into place. I like my attitude towards life now, because it is something I worked so hard towards, after everything that has happened. While I wouldn't attribute it all just to those events, it is in being able to overcome personal obstacles that I've grown and learnt a lot. I'm sure that is how everybody grows and learn, too. And the feeling of being to spread wings that has been kept folded for too long- the feeling of finally soaring through the sky again- is just indescribable. 

Maybe not all aspects of my life are complete, but I feel complete. I am complete. Day after day, I feel the pieces in me slowly click into place. I'm guessing it mostly comes from being able to do what I enjoy doing, what truly makes me happy. To be able to do something whole-heartedly without any other intentions- with just the simple thought of being able to do what makes me fills my heart with joy- gifts me with the nicest, warmest and loveliest feelings. 

I truly understand why some people are willing to abandon everything just for the chance to do that one thing. While I may not be able to abandon as much yet, I have understood what it means by living for the passion, instead of for the moolah. I've always only heard people talk about it and how satisfying it is- heck, I've always talked and dreamt about being able to live that way but never really experienced it before. Now that I have, I also see the difficulties that come with it. Doubts and reprimands from the people around you; it is not easy but it is, however, very worth it. 

So yes, life has been nothing but great and I'm beginning to wonder again if I really deserve all these. I have always been a spoilt child, always getting everything I ask for... I even get more than just second chances from God, who is always silently guiding me to the lesson at the end of the tunnel. Do I really deserve all the second, third, forth- and more- chances? Always given the chance to make things right again, despite screwing up countless times... do I really deserve them?

...and all these just to protect the child in me, sleeping somewhere in my soul.

There are times when I feel myself beginning to wear out and I begin to look at the world in a different way, but then things would always suddenly happen (it can even be as simple as seeing the grass sway with the breeze that came from a passing bus) and then it all makes sense again. I can't quite explain this feeling, but it goes along the lines to looking up from the very bottom. There is no need to complicate things at all, no matter how complex life actually is.

This is why I can never grow up.

I'm always protected by my parents, my aunts and even God. And of course, Ah Gong, who remains forever in my heart. For as long as they want me to remain their little spoilt brat, I will... because there is no one else I'd rather be.