It's a long story.
It happened on a Sunday. Papa, Mummy and I headed to town for some official matters, after which we headed to Pioneer for more official matters. And then we dropped by Jurong since we were pretty near and needed to get some stuff for home. And so the store we always went to was airing this particular radio station and they decided to play this song. And that's how it began. My journey back to 10 years ago.
My MVP Valentine is a story of love and dreams. Of people who loved each other but were always willing to sacrifice just to see the other cry less and smile more. Of people who were initially strangers but came together to work hard together for basketball.
Do I love basketball? Yes, I did before, but the 22-year-old me no longer has the same kind of passion for the sport as I did years back. However, like Coach Dong in the drama says, while you may intentionally forget something, the moment you come in contact with it again, your body remembers everything.
The heart remembers too.
I once loved basketball and it added many ups and downs to a life that would have otherwise been mundane. I loved staying back in school every single day to play basketball with my friends, refusing to stop until it is time to rush home to watch Wan Quan Yu Le, because back then, I loved 5566 too. However, what made me the happiest was that I had something to work hard for, to strive towards. Because I had basketball, I had something to look forward to every day.
Why did I stop playing? It's a stupid reason, really, because it was for a boy and feelings that run deep until today. I once loved a boy as much as I loved basketball. But things happened and I got hurt. It was impossible to stop the pain unless I stop the feelings altogether. And to stop those feelings, I had to stop seeing him. Because we had only that many basketball courts to play at, I decided that for him to totally disappear from my life, I had to let go of basketball too. It was a stupid reason; it IS a stupid reason. When I could have given up on only one, I chose to lose two.
So yes, I did love basketball. I loved running past people with the ball in my possession and then making that score. I loved jumping and I loved running. Basketball gave me many beautiful memories, as did dance. So even though I no longer feel the same for basketball as I used to, I find contentment in knowing that there's a me, belonging to 10 years ago, who loves basketball with all her life.
I miss not only basketball, but everything from 10 years ago. When I was 12 years old, I could recklessly do things without a single mind for the consequences. Now that I am 22, I am still reckless, just not as much as before because I have to calculate if the aftermath will affect me more, or others. The funny thing is, I don't think my recklessness has anything to do with age. I was either born with it, or picked it up along the way. I am reckless by nature; I was reckless and I still am reckless.
Mm.
It has been a very fruitful two days, re-watching the drama. :) I think I will re-watch it again in the near future, because... simply because.
If 12-year-old Ellialyn knows what 22-year-old Ellialyn is feeling right now, I wonder what she would do. Live more recklessly, or choose to have done nothing at all?
