Mm.

I've once thought about naming each blogpost, or filling in the blank for the post title but meh, it's not something I would do. I mean, I don't see the point in breaking away from something I've done my whole life… Uh, I mean! I mean, it's not that we don't have to try breaking away from things in life, but I have never been one to really get down to the details of organizing anything. So it really doesn't make sense for me to add post titles or tags or anything else just because others are doing it. There. This is pretty much pointless but I just felt like getting it out of my system and yes, I'm feeling so much better now that it's out. LOL.

Okay…

So within a span of around 4-5 months, I've arranged and re-arranged my bedroom for about 4 times now? And woots, the bed is back to its original position and so is the study desk and wardrobe! Which makes the previous efforts, well, pointless. /facepalm Okay, not exactly as pointless as it seems but eh, it's was an interesting 4-5 months. o_o

Eh, point is, I never really believed in fengshui and the such. Well, years back, I was not a spiritual person. Yes, I believe in the supernatural and stuff and although I did nod my head at some things fengshui pointed out, I just wasn't that into it. Back then I found it absurd that shifting furnitures and/or adding crystals could change things! I remember when Gugu got a shifu to check out the fengshui in our home after that… and I remember him saying some things that made sense, although I found most of it amusing. I wasn't really in my right mind yet then. Lol.

But yea, as much as I want to believe in what the lines on our palms tell about our lives, I can't completely believe in it either. I believed too strongly in that we drive our own destinies, decide our own directions and dictate our own lives. How could I believe that a mere shift and/or colored crystals could change my life? But I respected it. No belief, but I had respect for it. My parents never taught me to not respect anything or anybody. Lol.

I've only recently opened up to friends about finding peace in being a spiritual person-at least I would like to believe that I am and trust me, most friends probably think I've gone bonkers… lol. And yes, I go to church and I believe in God but I'm not the most religious person. I believe in everything, or nothing at all.

This is me and I've come to believe that there is something greater than anything or anybody we've known and that is the Universe. I really gotta thank the Immortal series for this because those 6 books were more than just a fantasy-romance series for young adults… it helped opened my eyes to what is out there. Yeap, the Universe. And Karma. The Cycle and the Balance… and yes, I know that I've digressed yet again. But this is something that fascinates me and I'm still learning about it too~ :D

But okay. Yeap. That's why it took me forever to finally admit to Papa and Mummy that something is wrong with my bedroom's arrangement. I've mentioned before how it felt as though I've lost a certain drive to do things but really, what I felt was more like having my energy sucked away by something (or somebody)! Here I was, believing in a force or energy in everybody that can be used (can't find the proper word) and amidst all these happy thinking, I'm feeling like my own energy is being sucked away?! I entertained the thought of a spirit feeding on my energy (or life force, if you prefer a more rose-colored way of looking at things, lmao) and as much as I surprised myself by how I wasn't really freaked out (I'm a coward), I was scared. Because I don't like how I have been feeling ever since I moved my bed into places where light hits less often… mm.

Gotta thank Morgan for doing all the fengshui research for me although I didn't ask her to. All I did was tell her what was going on and my dear friend went on to research for me! No idea why I didn't get on with checking things out myself, haha. Maybe because I'm not yet accustomed to fengshui and the likes? But yeah, now I believe that it affects the flow of energy. :( Apparently the head of my bed wasn't against any wall at all and it's bad because when there is nothing to support and protect the head (or my head), personal energy slowly leaks away.

So~ I finally re-arranged my bed and had the head of the bed against the wall again (albeit under the window which is apparently also not good, but since I have a headboard so it's okay) and I'm not lying… the very instant the bed was moved back to its original position (the very very very first time I just moved into this room, this was how my bed was positioned), I FELT BETTER.

You can say that it's all in the mind but what I felt was not only in the mind but in the heart and the body. I felt so much lighter, so much fresher! And it's scary because woahhh, this means fengshui works! LOL. Okay, kidding. So I spent last night reading a book, something I could have never done even if I wanted to read a book badly. It applied to other things as well, be it school work or getting out of the room or writing (like now), because unless I forced myself (and it always took so much energy to do so!), it always felt like I was being held down on bed.

Oh! Speaking of the bed! Seriously! Mummy keeps saying it's because I'm always sleeping at 5-6am++ and there were days when I even fell asleep only at 7am++, but I know better! I should have known better! Before, no matter how late/early I slept at, if I wanted to wake up earlier instead of at 5-6pm++ (lol my need for 12-14 hours of sleep returns~), I could. I always could. I mean, if I want to, I can and I will. Lol.

But when the bed was in the second arrangement, I COULD NOT FIND IT IN MYSELF TO EVEN OPEN MY EYES. All I wanted to do was hide further behind my mirror (which was behind the head of my bed and which was blocking the sunlight) and away from the sunlight streaming in. I have to admit that it was a very comfortable place because it was a pretty chilly corner, lol. But it was so scary! The way I didn't even want to open my eyes and just keep sleeping, sleeping, sleeping… I didn't even feel the need to eat or go to the toilet! It was like I was strapped onto the bed, with an IV that drained me instead of giving me what I needed.

o_o

Yes, again, you can say that it's all in the mind but it was real and scary enough for me. And all the crazy ups and downs of my emotions? I thought it was me listening to Xiaogui's song so often, too often, that I was living in that bubble of anything-but-cheerful-feelings. Moon aside, full or not, I don't think I've ever slipped that far in before (but I had a few wicked mood swings and that produced pretty wicked writings lol). At least, not after getting better in 2010. If I wanted to, if I had allowed myself to, I could have returned to 2008. Thank goodness I didn't, because heaven knows what could have happened if I had!

Now that the bed is right under the window and where I have sunlight aplenty, I feel so much better. I woke up late today because I slept late last night, lol. But instead of the I-can't-find-it-in-myself-to-wake-up sluggishness, it was the usual I'm-so-tired-and-my-eyes-wanna-close tiredness.

So there! Everything is good again, and I'm already looking forward to completing a few unfinished writings. I already got started on something I've been meaning to but didn't because of you-know-what and I'm very excited about it! XD

And yeah, I wonder if it's because the previous arrangements had the bed in certain places where the sunlight didn't really reach. Like the first arrangement, where I had the wardrobe beside me and it was always a little darker at the head of the bed. Same for the second arrangement, because my mirror is tall and it stood between the head of my bed and the window.

And oh! ANOTHER THING. Morgan helped me find that if you have your bed in a direct line with the door (not a good thing, because it is the "coffin arrangement"), you'll have frequent leg problems. Guess what? The first arrangement had the bed in a direct line with the door (along the same wall)… AND THEN I REMEMBERED MY ANKLE INJURY THAT NEVER GOT BETTER. It hurt the worst when it was in that arrangement; there was even once when I couldn't walk properly. It's slowly getting better and it hasn't hurt ever since I shifted from the first arrangement. So yeap, there goes!

Whether or not this is all in the head or just pure coincidences, it doesn't really matter anymore. All that matters is that I'm feeling all bouncy and full of energy again, and that I've actually rambled so much before getting to the main point. Lol. See! These all show that I'm feeling good already!

:D :D :D :D :D

Okay, I'll try to complete another reading for school later~

CHEERS! :Dv