i haven't blogged in such a long time. :(

hmm… so it is finally the first day of the last month of year (notice how i like saying the beginning of a new month this way, hehe). this is impossible…! i mean, it doesn't feel like five months have passed since i turned 21, doesn't feel like 7 months have passed since i last spent an awesome time with the girls at USS… and it certainly doesn't feel like im gonna see dongbang this coming sunday!

and it also doesn't feel like it has been 11 days since i wrote the previous post. 11 days is a long period… and i can barely remember what happened the past 11 days. :( i must have been really, really busy and caught up in everything… and yes, i've been exhausted. mentally drained, emotionally tested and my body is breaking down. lol.

so im glad that it is already december, although i still find it unbelievable that time has flown by so quickly. too quickly. so it is true after all, that once you turn 21, the days pass so much faster. :( nooooo! i don't want this to happen! i want to take each day slowly, take my time to do all the things i want to do… life is always so short, please don't make this short reach its end so quickly too! T_T even if december means holidays, which means a lot of quality rest and time to do all the things i've been wanting to do since forever.

december means i get to be myself.

i have certain plans in place and i hope i have the determination to execute them. i don't like having a soft heart that wavers so easily. lol. i just exposed another of my weakness, haha. but yeah, i really hate it when i cant reject someone. but i just cant! and i don't know how to! and i cannot bear to… :(

yeah. only short thirty one days and i really hope that i get to do everything that i want to do! finally do up my room, watch dongbang's dramas (gosh, im soooo behind time!), watch running man, brush up on my korean, more covers and more writing (of songs… lol), more reading and writing (so i can come back to life again), more sleep, more exercise (seriously addicted to the sweating and aching), more SLEEEEEEEEEEEP. i know it's repeated and it's because i really love to sleep. lol.

oh well. im still gonna be busy for the next two weeks… hopefully everything settles. :)

ps/ i love dongbang and i never, ever want them to feel like they have let us down. it is, in fact, the other way round. i love every single one of the five of them, with my heart, mind and soul. always keep the faith, hope to the end!