sissy asked me a while ago if i would have become a VIP if i had known about bigbang first. i thought about it... and decided that no, things dont happen that way. at the end of the day, even if i were to know of dongbang only yesterday, i would still be a cassie.

whether things happen before or after one another, if it is meant to be, then whether or not it comes sooner or later, it will still be that way, no?

fact is, dongbang is my home. i always go back home, no matter how far the distance. i will always find my way back home... i will always find my way back to dongbang. fact is, at the end of the day, it will always be only dongbang. they dont even have to be real, as long as i know that what i feel inside is real.

of course i dont love them like i would love my special someone, but i love them like i love my family and friends. they feel like family i havent known for all my life, like friends i will never know i have. it's like they are here and yet not quite here.

and i will never, ever give up on them.

never.

i looked back on the four years i've had with them in my life, and i realize that things would never be half as fun without them. life has been happy, meaningful, and painful with them- and i learnt so many things since 2007. it is nearing my fifth year as a cassie now... and im more than excited to spend another fifty, hundred, years with them.

dongbang-ah... please come back soon. i miss the five of you so much, and although it's not something i like to publicly admit, i think im going to die from the emptiness inside. :(