HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

:Dv

this video is a must-watch must-listen every special day of my life (when i add a year to my age).

im blessed to have dongbang!

hehe, typing this on the first day as an adult. i could have done this yesterday, but i wanted to do something different from past years. instead of typing a birthday post for myself on the day itself, i shall write it later. i shall wait until the day has passed, until the feelings have seeped in, until i realize time has gone.

i just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everybody who has wished me. whether it was out of basic politeness or because you are a close friend, thank you. there's really nothing much i can say besides "thank you", hehe. XD i truly am a very, very blessed child. :)

so yeap, im now a 21 year old adult. although according to my lunar birthday, i am only 7 years old. maybe this explains the lapse in maturity… lol. i am mature, okay, just now all the times. okay, maybe not as mature as others, but still more mature than before. i just don't wear it on my face all the time, pushing it into others' faces that im a mature and straight-thinking adult. no. if i am still a child, then so be it. it is a blessing from God that i do not be tainted by the grown ups' world, that i can deflect anything ugly that heads for me.

which brings me to realizing that i am finally my own person now. everybody can tell me anything, but nobody should expect that i listen to a single thing. i am my own person now and i have the rights to decide what is right, and what is not. if i have to "suffer" the consequences of my decisions, then so be it. the only suffering i'd get out of this is taking an extra lesson from life and this, is a blessing.

i'd rather make mistakes and learn from it rather than have everything proceed smoothly. would i be able to understand things from other perspectives this way? no. if i don't experience being in others' shoes for once, then i'd become a judgmental person. i truly feel this; i don't want to be judged, and others definitely don't want to be judged either.

i appreciate advices and more than anything, i appreciate encouragement. but leave it up to me, whether i want to take them or not. i appreciate more than encouragement the knowledge that you will always be there for me, despite knowing that i may have made an unwise choice.

that's why im very thankful and grateful that my parents are the kind of parents that they are. they listen and although they may disagree, they don't clip my wings and let me follow the wind. should i one day get lost, i know that there is always a warm nest that i can return to. should i one day get hurt, i know that my parents will come swooping down on me, nursing me back to health before letting me fly again. they don't force me into anything and don't expect anything from me. the only thing that they do really want from me? one, from mummy, is to be happy doing things that i want to do. two, from papa, is to always know that he will always support my decisions.

if i have a choice, i want to always be born to them, to be their daughter or son, to always be their child. i love them so much- i don't think i can ever live a day knowing that i have disappointed them. so i will always be happy and do whatever i want to do, knowing that there is someone i can turn to whenever in doubts.

hehe!

i also want to thank mummy for the birthday cake she secretly bought although i told her many times not to get one, because the cake for the party is already more than enough! it is the most expensive cake i have ever eaten, how can it not be enough!? but mummy went ahead to buy this awesome chocolate cake with tons of almonds and walnuts. wheeee, my favorite combo ever! :Dv

and papa, too, for pissing mummy off when he kept asking her to buy me necklace despite mummy's reply time and time again that i don't wear necklaces. which is true, i don't. LOL. but he gave me the money to buy banana chips and i consider banana chips a present from papa!

and meimei, for finally becoming a brighter girl. i mean, going to school has done her good. she is opening up, becoming a happier person (at least this is what i feel) and we no longer argue. lol. i hate it when i argue because i always end up using words i don't mean to use. i know, im a bad sister, but it's because i love her that i want to knock some hard sense into her. oh well… at least we're ganging up often against our parents now, hehh!!


honestly, despite doing a wishlist, i don't really want anything. actually, i don't know what i want. one thing i know i really want is for everybody i love to be safe, healthy and happy. nothing makes me happier than knowing that the people i love and cherish so much are doing well. next thing i really want, of course, has to be dongbang reuniting again. i spent the first few hours as an adult bawling because it hurts not seeing them together. lol. they may not mean the world to me, but they mean a lot- maybe too much, even- to me.

so yeap, i look forward to seeing everybody on saturday! all the love that's gonna buzz from everybody and myself… im such a blessed child, such a blessed, blessed child. :)


of course i had to end this with my trademark dazzling smile. :Dv