sometimes i feel like a balloon, free to fly but still bound to ground.

haha, worked on monday for an event. hmmm, not the ideal job but during the 10 hours, i've experienced many interesting and not-so-interesting things and realized certain things. because all i had to do was to stand, i spent most of my time just looking around, observing my surrounding and the people. hmmm.

1. to all parents.

dear parents, if your children are talking to you, whether or not you like what they are saying, please DO NOT cut them off. but all parents do that anyway (and i think i will be guilty of such a crime when i do become a parent in future), so it would be really nice you DO NOT cut your children off in the middle of the sentence by telling them to "SHOO!". it's not even "shhh" or "shush", but "SHOO!". who the hell tells their children to SHOO?!

plus, that child wasn't even asking you to buy toys. he was asking you to buy him a book! a storybook! an educational book! certain things that are instilled in your children are so because of what happened when they were younger. what if they grow up and think that books are not good things to buy? do you have any idea how happy my parents always were whenever i asked them to buy me books? and i would very much LOVE it if my children were to ask me to buy them books!

although it was only one parent who told her son to "SHOO!" (and gosh, i was horrified!), there were other parents who outright refused to listen to what their children had to say. -_- even if you are not going to buy the book, at least let the child finish speaking! children deserve to be respected too, especially since they are YOUR own children, you know?

2. to my nose~

my poor nose… we were situated right beside "the skin pharmacy" and there were some scents. it was already bad enough and to make it worst, the crowd~ different perfume, different cologne, different whatever- it made my nose hurt inside out. to double my pain, it rained heavily. T_T

and i think i felt a lot worst because i was just caught in the light rain the night before. throw in insufficient sleep and upside-down body clock… i ended the day with a throbbing headache, burning eyes and hurting legs and back. of course i cannot risk hurting my back again! i just recovered, hello~

3. kids now are so lucky!

all they had to do was to ask their parents if they could buy something and if their parents nod, then they have it. i know i always say that my parents always give me what i ask for (i think it's because i ask for reasonable things and i don't do it every single day/week/month, lol), but when i was their age, i had to set aside a bit from my daily $4 (secondary school) allowance just to get what i want!

i remember that i wanted this mechanical pencil really badly but for some reason, i didn't ask my parents for the money to buy it. yeah, this is why i don't often ask my parents for stuff because i tend to save up and get it myself instead. lol. self-praise, haha! XD but yeah, i was 8 or 9… and in primary school, the most i got was $2. LOL. so i saved 20cents everyday until i saved enough to buy the $2.50 mechanical pencil. =) uhh, because $1.20 is for my noodles and 30cents for ice cream? :D

yes, until today i have a small "to buy things with" saving box to save up for the things i want to buy~ im not a rich kid, okay. i don't get a lot a day and i don't get allowance for everyday. only when i go out. lol.

4. i need to talk.

i always thought that im not suitable for jobs that required me to interact with people but i've actually realized that i need to interact with people! maybe it's because of working at yoguru, but i think i like (maybe a lot) to serve people. lol.

i like smiling at people and seeing them smile back! hopefully it's because they are happy, though. haha! but yeah, i like to interact with people and i like to make them smile. :D :D :D

and the most important thing i've realized again!

5. my parents love me a lot- all parents love their children.

when they heard how far i had to travel for this, they nearly threw a fit. i had to run back into my room and lock the door to escape from them, LOL!!!

i know they care for me- after all, which parent does not care for their children? even if they ask them to "SHOO!", they still care for them. but i cant help but sometimes be too overwhelmed by my parents' concern. they care for me, so much so, it's beginning to hurt me.

i thought i've grown up enough to no longer be kept in that bubble of comfort and security… yes, i like being protected (maybe even to the extent of over-protection) and i like feeling safe because i know that my parents are protecting me, but i don't like how this means i will never be able to really grow.

i want to explore. it's like i want to be allowed to freely fly to any place like a balloon that has been accidentally released by a child. i want to learn how to take risks and i want to know how it feels like to take risks. i don't want to always be on the safe side of everything. because i wont learn and if i don't learn, i don't grow.

but on the other hand~

im so touched by my parents love. although i really would love it if they stop treating me like a baby, lol. there's meimei for them to treat like a baby mah, why target me lol.

but yeah, im really beginning to seriously wonder if this is the kind of life i was meant to have. lol. sheltered, protected and always having it easy? hmmm.

:D :D :D