*im not sure how coherent im gonna be for this post, lol. im not sure if im emotionally stable yet, haha! but yeah.. gotta get it off my chest, as i always do and honestly, this is what blogging is for, isn’t it. lol.

first of all, i would like to thank the lovely girls who gave me the borders gift card. i put it to good use on wednesday, and i definitely picked up a very good book. =)

i don’t buy books very often.. the library is just 10 minutes away from me and that’s where i get most of my books from. but i always have to say goodbye to them when they are due.. i am unable to keep them by my side and i really dislike having to part with a book that i like. a temporary presence as opposed to a permanent presence.. yeah.

but lol, i seldom buy books.. haha. the most difficult part, though, is looking for that one special book with a story that turns your world upside down. love at first sight works for me when it comes to books, okay. all the first impression, first touch, first read..

ahh, when it is the right book, there will always be this instant spark that slowly grows into a flame as i flip through the pages. i love the feeling when that happens. lovely. =) my habit is to flip from the back to the front, though.. rather than the beginning, it is always already knowing the ending that captures me. it’s a habit lah hor, because i like how the doesnt-know-why-the-ending-is-like-that feeling slowly changes to oh-my-god-why-does-it-have-to-be-like-this feeling. lol. ya lah, habit habit.

i have this unquenchable thirst for books and reading, but i don’t buy them. i don’t know how this fits but yeah, it is this way. lmao. i try to satisfy this thirst by reading fanfics online though. and trust me, there are very good writers out there. like me. LMAOOOO. haha, okay i’ll be serious now.

well, i enjoy lingering in bookstores, randomly picking up and flipping through books. and most of the times i have to leave feeling upset because i don’t have enough money on me to buy a book that caught my eye. or i’d have to leave feeling sorry because i have to give one book up for another. im not one to carry a lot of cash on me, lol. but i always make sure to return, with papa who will always buy me the books that i want, to get them. people who come to my place often should know that i don’t have that much books, haha. not even enough to fill up a shelf, really. even if i always boast that i have a lot of books at home. really, im just referring to that the amount of books that i’ve read.

ps/ honestly, at this rate, i doubt i will be able to get straight to the point.. which is to talk about the book. but ah well, it seems that i prefer to talk about my relationship with books and reading, hee. :D furthermore, to have to think about julian and jenny and the book now.. ugh. i don’t want to start crying again. even if i do reach out for the book randomly while waiting for things to load. lol. sigh. it’s such a heartbreaking story.. :(

but yeah, im not sure if you have experienced this before but since i have, im pretty sure that it is real. haha. that connection between books and their owners. finishing a book feeling like you have lost a good friend is a good feeling, but finishing a book feeling like it is going to stay with you for the rest of your life.. the most wonderful feeling. i can fall in love with this feeling over and over again, but never really get sick of it. the only thing is it doesn’t happen very often.. sigh.

i buy a book when i find the story interesting (after my usual routine of flipping and reading from back to front; i just want to make sure that it is a worthy investment lah). but i can put it down and get another book that i think is more interesting. but when i see a book and the love at first sight thing happens.. my hands will stick to it, no matter what. i think ahben can testify for me, haha!

rather than love at first sight, i think that it is more of a connection. that connection.. the connection. it happened when i first saw the twilight series (up until only eclipse); that feeling of ‘i know that i have to have it!’ was strong. LOL. but for ‘the forbidden game’.. woahhh, i only opened it up to briefly scan through and that’s it. i was getting that book no matter what. ahhh, that’s the connection. that brief moment of blazing fire. =)

actually, i really don’t know what i am trying to say. LOL. i need my facial expressions and hand gestures to be able to fully express this amazing feeling. lmao. you’d understand if you love books but only pick certain books to be a part of your collection. haha. =)

whooosh~