the thing is, life has no traffic lights at all. if it does, then it probably is always flashing the green man. because no matter what, life goes on.

even if i cant do this, or cant do that, life goes on. as i age, even though im not that old at all, i have come to realize that time really waits for no man. following closely behind is the realization that time doesnt just pass, it flies. before i know it, im gonna run out of time to do all of the things that i want to do- things that im meant to do.

everything was fixed. i promise- no lies at all, but i went for everything as scheduled and the doctor told me, face to face, that i was okay to go on with my usual activities. HE SAID SO. and my body felt so, too. who would have known that it was just a temporary cure.. who would have known that a few months later, the pains returned. and because i still want to dance later, i have to stop now. seriously, i wont be the stubborn child who refuses to listen anymore; i will stop and rest now because i still wanna be able to dance later. hence, it's another few months to go.. sigh.

but this doesnt mean that the world stops spinning.

everything happens for a reason! and because im learning how to look at the positive side of everything, take it as another blessing in disguise! this probably means more time for myself and the people around me, i guess. priority goes to my family, duh. and because there are still times when i only wanna hide away from everybody, please dont blame me if i do not reply sms-es, dont appear online, dont answer calls, etc.. if you are my friend and want the best for me, give me time to myself. lol, demanding but aiyah.. i dont want to go out with a bad mood and you wouldnt want my bad mood to spoil the atmosphere, would you? :) but aiyah, sometimes i really just wanna stay away, wormed up in my bed, away from everything and everybody outside of my alien zone..

and sometimes, it's really because my phone is set to silent mode and im out in the living room watching tv, and i dont remember to check my phone until before i go to sleep! because i have this non-disposable mindset that nobody would wanna contact me.. lol!

the second half of last week was spent rather.. ellialyn-ly? LOL. watched A LOT of tv, especially the taiwanese programs that i used to love watching before. also watched two super super super old stephan chow and anita mui movies that i remember watching when i was still a child.. lol! and because of it, i ended up reverting back to my sleep-at-6am days again. so i spent today trying to re-set my clock. xD

anyway.. yeah, watched a lot of tv and for a few moments, it was like i was back in time, back in my secondary school days. days when i would have no homework to do because i completed them all in school and i was done with revision and stationed myself in front of the tv to watch anything interesting available. :D those were the days when i was not weighed down by any worries at all, when all i knew that i was truly happy. and to have felt like i was back in those days.. im taking it as God sending me a message. whatever it is, im sure that it is something good, right? :)

and lol, finally cleared my room! FINALLY, like FINALLLLLLLY! but it's still a little disorganized because i have too many things to sort out, lol. i really need to make space for my cameras and my dongbang albums+dvd collection. speaking of dongbang, i didnt realize that i have SOOOOO MANY of their posters. MY WALLS DONT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE!!! ughhh, and i wana re-paint my roooooom~ looking at the red makes me hungry all the time. lol. going for bright colors; inject more alien-ness into my life! :D and the toilet renovations.. may they begin soon so it will end soon too.

apparently, it is only after then would we be able to organize everything in the house properly. not sure if my parents are moving to the master bedroom.. if they dont, maybe we're moving all of our closets over. make more space in the rooms...? not sure what the others would think about it, but it's not like their opinions matter that much. i mean, it doesnt mean that we have forgotten. maybe this is called being realistic, being practical, but i believe it's better than leaving it empty because it's not much different from wasting space. but no matter what, my ahgong will always be with us. =)

and ohhh, probably gonna change my double-decked bed for single beds. erm, i mean.. a single bed. because meimei doesnt sleep in the room anyway. -_-" might as well give the whole room to me.. im the only occupant, anyway. -_-" i dont get it.. what are our rooms for, then? it's not just meimei! even my parents are not sleeping in their own rooms! IS THE LIVING ROOM MORE COMFORTABLE THAN YOUR OWN BEDS?! lolllll. but yeah. you get my drift. -_-"

ahhhh haha. ran out of things to say. HAHA.

안녕~