wherever i turn to,

darkness greets me.

all unhappy things aside first.. j-walker has officially joined the family! :D

warm welcome to j-walker! :D really happy that i finally got it because i've been wanting it since secondary3/4 but decided to put it off, just in case it was one of my random spur-of-the-moments kind of thingy. but apparently, it wasnt. and hence, j-walker! dont ask me why i decided to name it j-walker. i was typing random things about jay-walking the night i ordered the holga. heh. finally. :)

and a not so happy thing.. LAST MINUTE 27 HAS DIED. D: i only took one polaroid and it died. :( maybe it's the film's problem? i dont know, but nothing happens when i try to take a new picture. maybe it's really dead. :( never mind.. i shall get a new one. LOL. i have 3 packs of 600film coming, you know! cant waste my money!! but then again, i'll just see.

and hmmmm.

i've been feeling upset since last night. and well, i was upset over the 2PM drama; it made me realize a few things.

1. if this were to ever happen to dongbang, i think i will just die. lol. not the literally, but yeah.. it sounds crazy but i dont think things are gonna be the same. but i have faith in the boys. even if i dont know them personally, i have faith in them. for all that they have given to us.. because i cant buy all of their albums and stuff, the most i can give is my support and trust. so yeah. :)

2. the very situation im caught in.

MAJOR SIGH.

talked to nana about it and she told me to either bear with it or just walk away. either way, i wont be the happiest that i can be. :( tan de hua, where are you? T_T leow li xin needs to talk to you. :(

i really hate it when doubts start to cloud..

and ughhh, university! T_T morgan and i had the same expressions when we went to hand in our application stuff. sighh. i think i should prepare myself for summer school already. and get a damnnn job! but lol, i still want to rest. i dont think i've rested enough yet, lol. seeeee, this is the problem with me! T_T

im already 20 (or turning soon) and my family.. i dont want papa and mummy to have to work so hard anymore. :( ellialyn leow.. BUCK UP. stop being the lazy ass you are! seriously, i agree with what mummy has always said ever since i was young. i can do many many things, but because im so lazy.. lol. to be honest, though, sometimes i just feel that putting in too much effort is pointless. you are not going get what you deserve, anyway.

ughhhh.

whatever. such things cannot push me down. im not that weak, lol.

and ohhh, i re-read my old blog few days ago and i was surprised. o_o i know, what is there to be surprised when those entries are by myself, right? i was just surprised at how hehe-haha every entry was. and then i felt upset for a moment, because i realized that no matter how happy i am right now, that ellialyn.. i can never really get back again. i mean, everything is going good for me now and im content with how things are going, but im no longer as carefree as before. maybe this is what growing up means? i dont know.. :(

hahaha.

i shall start exercising! i've been staying at home for the past month and im getting very bored with nothing to do at home. i still dont have the feel to do something about my room leh.. lol.

:)

jiayou ba, everybody!